god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
