APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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