Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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