im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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