If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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