lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
