i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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