This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
