Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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