Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
