how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
