How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
