If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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