Will you blow on my dice?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
