this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
