you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
