If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
