she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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