i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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