names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The uberlube is also flammable
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
