I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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