No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
