WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
