It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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