Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
