walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
