did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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