So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
