i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
