hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
