feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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