It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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