why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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