Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
