i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
