when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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