I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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