Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
