I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
