I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i believe in u and ur pee
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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