Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
