unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
