We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
