i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
