that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
