I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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