I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
