that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
