jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
