hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
