Its about making memories worth repressing
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
