If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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