You really coming over, don't trick.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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