my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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