took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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