I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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