I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
