Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
