The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
